Monday, 31 May 2010

Oh toby, my feline friend

They say dog is a mans best friend, well what about a woman? Besides the materialistic things of course. What is left to love you at the end of the day when the object of your desires has left and your heart is empty?
My mum brought me a kitten when my heart shattered, she knew full well if i had something else to love each and every day a small part of my heart would heal. Eventually, the numbness of having an empty heart would leave. Tobys not exactly 'him' but id be lost without his cute little face.

My advice to anyone going through a break up.... buy yourself a kitty.

Eat your words and choke on them


Sunday, 30 May 2010

The holiday

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

"I have another scenario for you - I'm in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I'm in love... with YOU. I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way... which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you....."

Wednesday, 26 May 2010


Save the foxes

Thursday, 20 May 2010

This city...

I HATE this fucking city and everyone in it. Your all fickle fucks that thrive off everyone elses misfortune and childish rumours which some sad lonely twat made up because they had nothing better to bide their time with.
Seriously i've actually realised tonight how childish Leicester is. Im so angry right now i could actually walk a million miles away from this place and never return. I hope whoever started these rumours burns in their own smouldering guilt.
After all the shit ive been through in this last two years do you really think i want to hear this absolute bollocks? I FINALLY start to cheer the fuck up after him and organise my life and everyone just wants to see me fall.
Well here's some shocking fucking facts for you yeah?

1) I lost my virginity when i was 18, to a boy i was with for 2 years.
2) I didnt have a boyfriend until i was 17.
3) I didnt have my first kiss until i was 16.
4) Ive only slept with 4 guys in the last 2 years, none of which are one night stands.
5) Im only interested in one person right now.
6) I've never cheated
7) Every relationship ive been in ended because ive been cheated on
8) Id rather die lonely than be "the other woman" i hate cheaters.
9) I just want to fall in love
10) yes i actually want to be friends with everyone because id rather be friends then be hated.
11) No im not interested in your boyfriend
12) No i dont lead people on, if i dont feel like my hearts in it, i will tell you.
13) I dont actually LOVE sex that much.
14) I HATE one night stands, what a way to feel used and dirty.
15) Ive never had an STI

So thanks everyone for starting and also believing the rumours which are so far from the truth its unreal.
I am NOT a slag, i am NOT a bitch your just gulliable for believing such utter SHIT. Im guessing half of you dont even know me or have even spoken to me.
So how about you keep out of my fucking business and get on with your own pathetic excuse of lives.
Yes... i want everyone to read this, so spread this mother fucker around

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Take me to paradise city...

You know, as hard as i try, people make it very hard for me to get on with my life. Im trying my hardest to futher my career and grow up according to how i should do. I thought friends were ment to help your progress and cheer you on in every step of this race called "life" but lately some of my bestest have really been throwing in the obsticles, making it so difficult for me to continue.
If its not one thing, it really is another, and that sayings completely true. I never used to believe my mum when she used to repeat it but as you age you become more aware that almost everything your parents told you is actually pure, solid, undignified F.A.C.T.
Like right now, im doing so well in maturing enough to find my way back on to the rails that i diversed from i actually thought within a few months i would have reached the target of happiness. Stupidity. Im having one of those situations where the past comes back to haunt me. If you remember correctly, in my previous post i refered to the skeletons in my closet.... well they're out, looking for me and they're angry. Im being bounty hunted by my own past. And the ones i thought i could trust are pointing them in the direction of my perfect retreat.
Best friends? Hah! That means nothing now a days. My best friends selling me out for a girl, just because he's foolishly in love with a fantasy he can never behold. Wow that just makes me feel special.

And what is it now with all my friends getting pregnant? I mean, i think its fantastic for them, i know theyre going to make great parents but.... what i dont get is how their biological is working. I mean im older than them and my clock hasn't hit baby o'clock yet. I cant really feel it hitting it any time soon. Does that mean im immature? Does it mean my clock isnt working?

I hate this city, I think ive out grown it, either that or its out grown me. Either way we're not the best of friends. Im sorry leicester but i just cant tolerate you anymore.