Friday, 2 July 2010

Hell proof

Last night was possibly the lowest point ive been at in a while.
I let everyone and their playground antics get to me. Im not usually like that but if you keep adding more water to an already full bath tub its inevitable its going to over flow and ruin the furnished floor that surrounds it. Well looks like i forgot to turn off the tap before i left for my local thursday activities. And whats worse is i let people see the damaged it caused.

Ive never had confidence issues until now, and ive never felt as agrophobic as i have recently. But in a way im glad of my low period. Im glad i slipped on the remians of the overflow, it showed me just who would run to pick me up. And fuck, there are some amazing people in my life.
For every person that spoke to me, thank you. I just needed pulling back up on my feet, brushing down and straightening back into reality.
You've all reminded me who i am and who i can be. What was i thinking? Im not this weak person who bows down to play ground bullies. I stopped doing that years ago. Im well on my way to finding myself again. And i need to learn to love myself before i can love someone else.

"So come on Laura, suck it up, fill your pockets with pride and take it all on the chin. Fuck everyone who doubts you and makes you doubt yourself. You've worked incredibly hard to get to this point, you dont need to prove anything to anybody. Get out there and have fun while you still can. Dont wait for men, make them wait for you. Love yourself" - Conscience

Im a strong person. I know im a strong person. I must be. HE text me. I declined his offer.

And i wont look back