Reblogged

If you dont understand me, your understanding perfectly.

"I guess some people are just born with tragedy in their blood"

I really do miss having someone to hold on to at night. I mean, its completely acceptable being single and i promised i'd love no one else before i loved myself, but i feel im being starved of a compassionate touch.
I miss being loved unconditionally

6:34 we meet again

Again i find myself in an insomniac daze, blankly staring at the golden sunlight creeping ever so quietly throught my bedroom door. Maybe its because im thinking about you again. Or rather love.
Im plagued by the consequenses of my own actions, my own careless mistakes. But mistakes seem to be the only thing i can achieve at the moment. I can only be used.

Hell proof

Last night was possibly the lowest point ive been at in a while.
I let everyone and their playground antics get to me. Im not usually like that but if you keep adding more water to an already full bath tub its inevitable its going to over flow and ruin the furnished floor that surrounds it. Well looks like i forgot to turn off the tap before i left for my local thursday activities. And whats worse is i let people see the damaged it caused.

Ive never had confidence issues until now, and ive never felt as agrophobic as i have recently. But in a way im glad of my low period. Im glad i slipped on the remians of the overflow, it showed me just who would run to pick me up. And fuck, there are some amazing people in my life.
For every person that spoke to me, thank you. I just needed pulling back up on my feet, brushing down and straightening back into reality.
You've all reminded me who i am and who i can be. What was i thinking? Im not this weak person who bows down to play ground bullies. I stopped doing that years ago. Im well on my way to finding myself again. And i need to learn to love myself before i can love someone else.

"So come on Laura, suck it up, fill your pockets with pride and take it all on the chin. Fuck everyone who doubts you and makes you doubt yourself. You've worked incredibly hard to get to this point, you dont need to prove anything to anybody. Get out there and have fun while you still can. Dont wait for men, make them wait for you. Love yourself" - Conscience

Im a strong person. I know im a strong person. I must be. HE text me. I declined his offer.


And i wont look back

And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep.

I feel the need to blog, i only feel this either when i need to empty my head, or let my fingers push the keys so i can concentrate on sorting out the mess that is my mind.

Ive been thinking about you again today, my mind can be so clear and satisfied until you force your way in like an unwanted midnight intruder to mess up and cause chaos in all my thoughts ive just organised.
You confuse me, i know i miss you, and i know i still feel something for you, but my heart desperately wants to find someone else. I cant figure out right now if i still love you or if i hate you.
And as much as i try to find someone else, the thought of you pulls me back. No one has stood a chance so far and i know, thats just the way you like it. I guess i just need to get my head around how one person can go from their world... to nothing but the dirt beneath their shoes. How can you fall out of love so quickly? And why cant i do it?

Oh toby, my feline friend

They say dog is a mans best friend, well what about a woman? Besides the materialistic things of course. What is left to love you at the end of the day when the object of your desires has left and your heart is empty?
My mum brought me a kitten when my heart shattered, she knew full well if i had something else to love each and every day a small part of my heart would heal. Eventually, the numbness of having an empty heart would leave. Tobys not exactly 'him' but id be lost without his cute little face.

My advice to anyone going through a break up.... buy yourself a kitty.

Eat your words and choke on them

Thanks....